Learning The Habit of Happiness

By Kiara Sada 8:32 AM

Naturally we filter our day to day lives with our thoughts, some being good thoughts while others are ones we have tainted for one reason or another, causing us to forget the habit of happiness that is gratitude. Happiness isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about dancing in the rain.

The detox.

Out of habit we see things with our emotions and feelings attached, which filters and clouds our day to day reality. In order to learn the habit of happiness we must first detox our minds of all the negative feelings and emotions that cause us not to see the entire picture. Instead of constantly complaining to anyone that will listen, throwing pity parties etc., we have to get into the habit of refocusing our attention away from the current "woe is me" mindset. 

Although at times self-pity may seem like our best friend, it is not. It implies the that past is more powerful than the future. So, instead of putting so much focus on the past and/or what you don't have, try refocusing your attention towards solutions and learn gratitude along the way. Otherwise, you're standing in the way of your own happiness! As of right now, in this very moment, you don't have to stay in the current state of mind you're in. You're never stuck unless you choose to be.

The choice and state of mind.

Unraveling happiness is like putting on glasses for the first time. Nothing changes, but yet, everything is different.

For most, and maybe even you currently, happiness is what I like to call a fleeting moment. It is a reaction, an effect of when something good happens, and only then. We have these moments of happiness but never are we able to hold on to them. As quickly as they come, they also then flee. 

 The truth is that happiness isn't something that we just so happen to stumble upon. It isn't some pill that only the successful and wealthy can afford either. It's an attitude, it's a personal choice that you make on a daily basis...this being the secret of attaining happiness. It is simple, so simple most will spend their entire lives chasing after it, yet still miss.

 Living in the moments... with gratitude.  

Somehow we learned to treat happiness like we would fine china. We have this way of only choosing to be happy on really special occasions. When the occasion is up, we carefully place it back on it's shelve for it to sit and wait for another really special occasion. In this way we allow happiness to flee. I've learned that even though I can push emails while at dinner, or be doing what seems like a thousand things at the same time, in none of those am I able to honestly be present in the only time that truly ever exist, which is now.

  Out time is the only real luxury we have. Life is way too often too short. What matters are moments and being present in as many as you possibly can. That's what life is made of.

 Moments allow us to cherish the people we love, things we adore, and experiences that make our heart smile so that we don't feel the need to chase after fleeting happiness, whenever it does appear, but to be able to receive happiness as it comes. 

  Now how you perceive your moments is entirely up to you. You may choose to focus on the negativity that comes, as it always does, but if you make an effort to choose the habit of gratitude, over time you will find happiness in the tiny moments that make up life and it will stick to you. Try choosing happiness even when everything around you says you shouldn't be. 

So, I want to ask, what moments make you happy? For me it's the small and unexpected things like the stranger that holds the door patiently while I walk in. It is smiling at someone and waiting for them to subconsciously smile also. It's when my husband reaches for my hand and everything just feels right in that moment. It is spending time with my crazy family every chance I get. It is not focusing on the things that are there to rob me of my happiness, but noticing all the other reasons I have to be happy and allowing them to be enough. Do you get it? 

PS: Let me know what you enjoyed about this post and it may just be shared on this weeks Meek N Modest Podcast recap. Also, be sure to share this with a friend who may need it. 

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  1. Beautiful FlowerAugust 6, 2015 at 11:47 AM

    Thank you for this post. I enjoyed how you helped me to learn how to live in the moment and appreciate the right now. It doesn't have to be this big elaborate thing going on to enjoy it, I have to learn how to enjoy the more simple things life allows me to experience. This post helped my day beyond imagine and gave me a push to keep going. Until next time old friend....keep them coming. You're reaching somebody!

    • Thank you so much for stopping by The Advice Column. It means everything to me that you were able to take a few things a way from it. I loved reading your comment so much that I had to screenshot and share it. It really put a smile on my day, Beautiful Flower. Xx

  2. I really enjoy reading this advice column. ..On point Thanks for such wonderful advise...We all need to be reminded cause the world is so full of negativity which makes us truly forget what we have t o be happy for.....Again Thanks for taking the time out of your the to care!!!!! Looking forward to more.

    • Hey Tammy, I agree that we all need this reminder, myself included every now and then. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this post. More to come! Xx

  3. State of mind i think is the main thing, life is not easy but you choose to either enjoy it or let it weigh you down, nice post dear.

    Simply Uneeke

    • Uneeke, I couldn't agree more. Your state of mind and how you view things, it's a choice. Xx